Friday, July 13, 2012

I need structure.

I suck at structure but god knows I need it desperately.  I miss writing.  I think writing, even if it's just a random stream of thought in a journal or this blog, helps me stay focused.  Helps me understand my own thought processes and behavior.  And helps me refrain from glossing over all the things my dark side encourages me to gloss over.  I need to make a commitment to myself to start writing every single day.  I think I'll start with 10 minutes a day.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Ain't No Good.

I want to be someone I can be proud of.  Someone I can feel good about.  There are a lot of things about myself that I am NOT proud of, that I DON'T feel good about, and when I'm letting these kinds of thoughts fester without taking any sort of real action to combat them, these feelings start to leak into other aspects of my life, and before I know it, I'm having all kinds of poisonous thoughts that affect how I react to every little thing that happens around me and to me.  The only solution to this is to get off my ass and start fighting back again.  I will never understand why the fuck I get in slumps where I don't give a fuck and want to ain't no good, it ain't no good.